This will be my second book release. My first was back in October and I was terrified. I hovered my finger over the publish button for a few minutes. So long, in fact, my partner was almost to the point where he was threatening to push it himself. He seemed just as excited as I was, but I had more than that floating around inside of me. I was a ball of emotions.

This time around I don’t know how I will be as I hover over the publish button on July 1st. It’s marked on my calendar. It’s going to be a big thing in my household. I know my partner Joel will make sure it is. He’ll talk me into a celebratory date but let’s be real, it isn’t that hard to talk me into a date.

I can say how I was back in October though. That ball of emotion inside of me encompassed fear. I was just coming out of a terrible headspace, after all I was recovering from: https://www.michaelstoneburner.com/coming-out-gay-an-open-letter-part-one/

There I was releasing a book that would not only discuss the abuse I endured growing up but it would also create a discussion I felt people need to have about the impact of child abuse, how a positive approach to education or lack thereof impacted a child and the fact that despite the fact that we can feel the world is absolutely against us, there’s still hope.

For me, that hope was in a smile. My own and a few others I met along the way growing up. It’s an important story to tell and I felt the weight of it back in October and my finger lingered above the publishing button.

I also had to keep reassuring myself that self-publishing was right for me. It was right for this story because I had to present it my way. Since my life was going to be on display, it needed to be done on my stage. But also, I had something to prove. I had to prove to the literary agents that this story was something that people wanted to read. I had to prove to publishers who said that it wasn’t going to be commercially viable because this story is so much more than that. I wish they had picked it up not for the money but because it portrayed through the eyes of a child a viewpoint not discussed enough.

I also had to prove to my biological family…nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have nothing to prove. Okay, maybe a few things, despite myself. I had to prove that I would not stay silent and that their attempts to put the blame back on me would not work. There was a little boy in me that was crying out to be heard and I was finally going to give him that chance.

This story is not about blame. It is about survival and hope and love and acceptance not only of others but being able to embrace yourself. It is about truth. It is about the fact that 1 billion children worldwide are affected by domestic violence and it can be prevented.

I clicked the publishing button and whimpered in the arms of my partner afterwards. He held me for as long as I needed him to hold me. It’s been quite a journey since.

On July 1st, I’ll be releasing the next book of He Was A Boy Who Smiled as it continues through my story. I wrote as honestly and as accurately as I could remember. I have not kept it a secret that I suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression so it’s quite accurate when I say that as I wrote my story, I relived it. And that’s okay. It’s a decision I have made because the education that comes from it, the discussion that continue because of it and the impact it has already had on readers from around the world make it worth it.

So here we are, a couple of weeks away from its release. Will I hover over the button again? What kind of emotions will I have this time? Will the unboxing of Book Two be just as powerful as the unboxing of Book One? I don’t know. That’s what is so incredible about this journey that I’m on. It’s also one of the most terrifying things about it, too. There are so many unknowns.

For this release, I’m running a giveaway. Subscribe to this website and automatically go into the draw to win a signed copy of He Was A Boy Who Smiled Book Two: Phoenix Falling and a few other little surprises. One winner will be picked on the release date!

Haven’t read the first book yet? That’s okay, because if you follow this link https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0646800485/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 Book One is 20% off up until the release date. So you have plenty of time to order it, binge it and get ready for its continuation!

Thank you.

You think you’ve read it all? Why not check out My Little Shop and see? I might surprise you. 😉